Fish Heads, Fish Heads (Roly-Poly Fish Heads)

Be careful what you wish for.

Yesterday I was wishing for something to photograph.  Something NEW.  Something DIFFERENT.  Something INTERESTING.  Was NOT expecting to see THIS on the way to dinner... (then again -  would a person EVER expect to see this?):

Bet you can guess what I DIDN'T have for dinner...

What would possess a person to put giant catfish heads on his fenceposts? (this paricular one has HORNS...and possibly teeth...and is staring at me.)  Giant, real, live (well... used to be alive) whiskered catfish heads.  WHY?  WHY would you do that?  What is the message he is trying to send?  Maybe he just finds the t-posts boring?   Was there a gang of air breathing, 2-legged catfish prowling around eating fenceposts and he just lopped off their bodies and left their heads?  Maybe he doesn't like his neighbors?  Maybe it's a warning of some kind?

Another thing I'm struggling with is why haven't the local varmits eaten the fish heads yet?  Surely the racoons and vultures should have picked the bones clean by now?  And shouldn't there be FLIES? 

Apparently the birds don't like them, either.  

I'm also hoping this person doesn't have a tank/pond on his property big enough to GROW these giants.  Surely he found them somewhere ELSE and brought them home to decorate his fence... ???  Maybe 'decorate' is the wrong word here.

You know... catfish aren't the best looking animals to begin with.  But gosh... their decapitated heads are U.G.L.Y.  

One theory I have is that maybe it's a superstition of some kind?  Like... I just heard recently that if you kill a rattlesnake and throw it's body over a barbed wire fence, it will rain.  Now I'm not prepared to TEST that one or anything, but maybe... maybe it's some sort of fishing superstition?  A tribute to the catfish gods?  Pure speculation, but weirder things have happened, you know.

So... I got my interesting photo(s).  Different?  yes.  Weird?  yes.  Bizzare?  yes.  Disturbing?  maybe. 

That's all I have to say...for now.

 

Please help me remember...

Someone help me remember WHY I have dogs.  Really... why?  Why would I ever WANT to have creatures that chew up everything they get get their teeth on, dig up all my flowers, drag road-kill into my yard, harrass the cats, chase skunks, eat cat poop and generally relish in anything horribly stinky & rotten?  Why?  WHY, I ask?!

I woke up this morning a few minutes before my alarm clock went off.  Well, ok... before my alarm clock went off AGAIN (I had pushed the snooze button a couple of times already.)  As I lay there pondering WHY I was awake, I heard a snuffling noise.  As I absorbed the implications of the snuffling noise, I noticed a SMELL.  Ohhhhh noooooooo.

Precursor to this story:  We have 3 heelers.  They sleep in our laundry room at night.  They cannot sleep outside because, "out in the country" (where we live), dogs tend to hunt the neighbor's livestock at night... as in the kill-and-eat kind of hunt.  Kinda shocking to "city folk", I know, but it is what it is.  We had to learn this the hard way with previous dogs (so sorry about the goats and chickens...)  So, like our werewolf friends, they have to be inside during the killing hours between dusk and dawn.  We put up a gate on the door to the laundry room to keep them in.  It's just a baby safety-gate... nothing major.  We've been doing it for several years now - NO problems.  The dogs could easily knock it down if they wanted, but in general, they're good pups and stay in until we let them out each morning.   IN GENERAL.

Ok back to today... Apparently these monsters, who usually behave themselves at night, DID NOT last night.  When I smelled the smell and jumped out of bed to see what it was this morning, ugh... you can't even imagine.  The catfood was gone... the entire box of "Large Breed" dog biscuits was gone and the box totally shredded (and for some reason bits stuck to the floor), 2 ink pens were destroyed (??? how did they get those???), rugs were overturned and wadded up, several of my cookbooks that were on the lower shelf of the hutch were demolished... shredded... half-eaten.  And then... THEN there was the poo.  Oh, dear God, the poo.  There were piles of poo in the laundry room, three or four in the kitchen, two in Kelly's office, and SEVEN OR EIGHT IN THE LIVING ROOM ON MY NEW CARPET!!!!  I about fainted.  My new carpet... my new carpet I had waited EIGHT years for.  Now a poo field.  The field of poo.  A litter box for dogs.  Devastation... depression... WHAT?  How on EARTH could 3 dogs poo that much?  Were they saving it for a week?  I mean, COME ON!  Did they drug me and have a dog party last night, because SURELY this volume of poo couldn't possibly come from THREE dogs?  Unimaginable.  I would have taken photos as proof, but, really, who wants to see poo photos?  I know I don't.   On top of all that - you KNOW If there's poo, there's GOT to be pee.  I don't know WHERE exactly, but I know it's THERE.  Sigh...

Needless to say, my super-fantastic-heroic sons and I cleaned it all up.  I don't know what I would have done if they hadn't been here.  Probably packed up and moved out.  They cleaned up the worst of it then I finished the kitchen and Resolved the carpet, etc.  Now I'm sitting here waiting for the Stanley Steemer guys to come steam-clean my abused carpet.  They are scheduled to be here between 10am and 2pm.  It is 3:12pm.  Please, please, please tell me they are running late... but ARE coming.   

So, yes... someone please tell me WHY I have dogs?  IS there a reason?  DO I love them?  DO those sweet eyes melt my heart?  DO I love puppy kisses on my chin?  OK, fine. Yes.  Yes, I do love them.  Yes, they're irresistable.  Yes, their sweet puppy faces tug at my heart.  But, shhhhhhhhh - don't tell them!  They're still in trouble!!!! 

Priorities...

Just in case you were wondering, I DO have priorities.  I'm not always completely random... scattered... frazzled.  REALLY.   In the mornings my priorities are usually to make sure the boys eat a decent breakfast (is banana pudding a "decent" breakfast??), wear semi-matching clothing (incuding socks that actually go together), and brush their teeth before leaving for school.  Sometimes I even remember to remind them to grab their backpacks on the way out the door.  In the afternoons my priorities including remembering to pick up boy #3 from school and shuttle him to and from whatever sporting activity he is supposed to be at on whichever day (sometimes it takes more than one brain to remember it all, tho). 

Today, however... TODAY's priority was our annual Bluebonnet photo shoot.  I tried to do this last weekend but it was soooooo very sunny... everyone was squinty and washed out (and some mean person on the highway honked at me and made an ugly gesture while I was trying to make the best of the situation!)  Rude person.  

I knew it was supposed to rain today so had been planning on trying again early this morning.  I woke up at 7:30 and it was PERFECT outside - that perfect overcast sky that makes all the colors just GLOW.  I let the boys sleep... for another half hour (hee hee - mean, huh?) and then woke them up, promising them What-a-Burger breakfast taquitos when we were all done.  This, by the way, is the most awesomest bribe ever - really gets their rears in gear ... except Justin who's version of "hurrying up" means taking only 30 minutes to get his clothes on and brush his teeth.  Whatever... we were out the door by 8:30 - woo hoo!

First stop... County Road 403.  Both sides of the road absolutely lined with bluebonnets... nevermind the prickly mesquite tree or the cactus.  I certainly didn't mind them.  The first shot of the day was this.  What you can't see is that I've had Jake tuck a mesquite branch behind his head (it WAS in front of his face - and that will never do.)  It is poking him in the scalp with it's thorns.  I told him to be still and it wouldn't hurt very much and it'll only take a sec for me to snap the pic.  Should have checked the LCD display and retried - he's got a funny look on his face... sigh.  After this I told them to squat down so I could get them more in the flowers.  Justin says, "Mom, there are cactus."  I said, "Just don't SIT on

it."  Justin replies, "If I squat, I'll HAVE to sit on it."  My response?  "Squat PART of the way down to where you're not touching the cactus but it LOOKS like you're sitting."  Priorities, dear, priorities.  What's a little cactus pain when there are photos to be taken???  So he did and I got this one.  Seeeeee - everything was just fine!  :)

Down the road a bit farther I got this one.  Probably a good thing Justin didn't SEE Jackson behind him.  Older brothers are a persnickety bunch, sometimes. 

Then, when Jackson spontaneously put his arms around his brothers'... the whole shot degenerated to this...

God forbid he touch them... LOL

By this time it had started to sprinkle.  No worries - a little rain won't hurt anyone (or a camera when you've got it covered in a zip-loc baggie!)  Funnily enough, the boys didn't even complain about standing in the rain.  I got one of my favorite shots of the day when they were just walking away from me down the side of the road.  I guess they know it takes more than a little sprinkle to change my mind about a photo shoot.  Good boys, they are... have the right priorites, too!  :)

I did end up with several great shots to go with the ones that didn't turn out so perfectly.   And we are happy to report that we encountered no snakes, no scorpions (but there WAS one in my kitchen tonight)... no traffic hazards were created by stopping on the side of the road to take bluebonnet photos.  I'm even pretty sure no one was bitten by fire ants.  Can't promise that though - it's such a common thing around here, it might not have been mentioned...  I didn't have to threaten anyone for not cooperating.  No child was actually harmed by mequite thorns OR cacti... sigh... a VERY good morning!

This Car Stops...

Good morning!  Well, I HOPE its a good morning, anyway.  It's been a CRAZY morning here, but good so far.  :)  (this is my neighbor, CB, by the way - isn't he handsome?)

The first thing I want to say is how grateful I am that I live in a small town and don't have to deal with rush hour traffic in Austin every day.  I would lose my mind (or whatever's left of it!)  I had to take Jackson to a doctor's appointment in Austin yesterday afternoon... we got done at 4:45... oh joy.  Just in time to join the hoard of people sitting on Mopac!!!!  Yay me!  BUT... at least I had something to ponder during those long minutes... (where's Arsenio Hall when you need him, hmmmmmm?)

Hmmmmm.  Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm...

WHEN?
...when it's out of gas?
...when there's a cow in the road?

For WHAT?
...for garage sales?
...for baby ducks?
...for the heck of it?
...for NO reason?
...in the middle of busy intersections?
...at railroad crossings?
...randomly?
...low water crossings?
...for Bunco?
...obviously on Mopac during rush hour


At least we know it DOES stop - it's not a Toyota... hee hee.

 

Obviously...

We went to Universal Studios yesterday.  We figured the boys would have a better time than at Disney (??? what kind of logic were we using?)  I do have to say that the Hulk rollercoaster was AWESOME!  So was the other big one that I can't remember the name of... at the other park... ummm ummm ummm... ROCKIT!  That's the one - VERY intense.  MIB was fun - shot a lot of aliens.  Got to meet the Grinch (although the boys were on another ride and Kelly wouldn't pose with him... grump!  LOL) 

I did get the boys to pose with Wolverine (didn't take much convincing - he's pretty much cool!!)  and we ALMOST got a pic with Captain America... but he had to leave.  sigh...

We got to wear funky nerd 3D glasses on the Spiderman ride.    The special effects were great but it made me motion sick... blech!  :)

Harry Potter wasn't open... it opens next week, I think.  :(  They also had the Dueling Dragons ride shut down - will reopen as part of the HP stuff.

The Jurassic Park River Adventure ride wasn't open either, so Justin & Jackson just stood in the splash zone to get wet while they tested the ride.

Even though the boys are all too old for us to play in the Dr. Seuss area, Jackson did get a Cat-in-the-Hat hat - such a cutie!

All-in-all it was a pretty good day.  Not a bad place... but Universal is NOT Disney.  Not by a long shot. You'd think that would have been obvious.  :)

What do they have against chickens?

Day 3 of vacation with the family.  We have discovered something disturbing at our otherwise AWESOME rented house on the beach here in Anna Maria Island, Florida.  Apparenty there are giant chickens roaming the area.  No, that is not the disturbing part... that would be that it seems they bury these giant chickens with their feet sticking out of the ground.  Maybe to scare the others away?  Hmmmm... giant beach chickens.  As you can imagine, the other birds are concerned about this brutality...  I met gulls and sand pipers and pelicans (oh my) convening on the beach to discuss.  

(I also discovered beach doves hiding in the sea grass...doves on the beach???)  I would be worried about this if I weren't reasonably sure that chickens are NOT carnivorous. 

Tune in to our regularly scheduled vacation blogging later...

Two Facts & Two Questions

Just a few quick thoughts tonight...something that just occurred to me.

Fact #1:  My home phone number is very close to our local police station's number.  The last four digits of MY number are 1136... the police station is 3611.  I learned this within 2 days of moving into our new house in 1999.  We moved in on a Thursday, got our first call Friday night about midnight.  It went something like this:

Me - "Hello" (veeery sleepy voice)
Caller - "Is this the police?"
Me - "ummm, no???"
Caller - "This is not the police station?"
Me - "No, this is my house."
Caller - "Did the police station change their number?  What is the number for the police station?"
Me - "I don't know.  All I know is you called my house.  What number did you dial?"
Caller - "Are you NEAR the police station?"
Me - "No..."
Caller - "Is this 693-3611?"
Me - "No - this is 1136, you switched the numbers."
Caller - "Are you sure?"
Me - "Well... I think so..."

Anyway... this has happened many, many times.  Usually on weekend nights, especially on Holidays, and ALWAYS after midnight.  Why do people call the police station after midnight, anyway?  Wouldn't they dial 911 if there was an emergency?  It used to aggravate me, but now, even in my sleep, I can tell them the correct number to dial.  No problemo.

Fact #2:  I am the registrar for the local soccer association.  Approximately 57 billion people in Marble Falls and surrounding towns have my phone number (give or take a few...lol) and it's posted on the association's website and registration flyers, too.  A lot of people call me... a LOT... mucho lotto.

Question #1:  If so many people who are trying to call the police station call ME... how many people who are trying o call ME, call the police station?  Hmmmm???  I never stopped to think about that before.  Until tonight.  Tonight when I got home from soccer practice (and, God help me, "Junior Parent Night" at the High School which-I-am-totally-not-prepared-for-but-that's-another-story) and had TWELVE, yes TWELVE new soccer voice mails.

Question #2:    Should I call the police station and see if I have any messages?????

To farm or not to farm... THAT is the question.

So.... FarmVille.  You either love it or you don't.  Well... maybe not.  I have differing opinions, depending on the day.  But, bottom line is - I play FarmVille.  Although "play" might not be the right word.  Farming is WORK, people!  So many decisions, so much to be done, so many animals, a virtual (literally) forest of trees... sigh.  It all leads to a few (ha!) observations/questions/comments on the whole little world of Farmville:

1.  Scale... I know it's a virtual world, but it's a little freaky when the horses are as big as the tractors, the tractors are too big for the barns, the snowmen are as tall as the eaves of my log cabin, and the turkeys are as big as the cows. Not a big deal, to be sure, but worth mentioning.  Let's just say if I were a chicken, I would definitely be afraid of the rabbits...

2.  Let's go back to the cows.  I have regular brown and white milk cows.  I have brown cows (that give chocolte milk - VERY cool).  I have pink cows that give strawberry milk.  I also have GREEN cows from space that give milktonium.  Who buys that stuff?  Maybe the aliens that made my crop circles?  I even have little green calves!  They ARE kinda cute in their martian-ness.  The calves bring up another question - what are they FOR?  All you can do is brush them.  Who brushes a cow baby?  Why?  I'm glad I get PAID for it, but still... ???  And apparently these are eternal calves - they never grow up... it's like a Neverland for them.  I want to know why I can't sell them for veal.  Oh come on, now - you know it's what would REALLY happen.  I'm being overrun by these little varmits - why not let them be useful?  I feel the same way about all the lambs... ever heard of LAMB chops? 

3.  Still on the subject of bovines... what about those bulls?  They can be very entertaining.  You can have one bull in each barn (with 19 cows - lucky guy).  I have 5 barns with a bull in each.  I have several other bulls that have no barn to live in.  They know where they WANT to be, though - as soon as I moved them to the pen in front of the barns - they all went and stood looking in at the cows.  Kinda feel sorry for them.  The scary thing is - I have to brush THEM, too.  I don't know about you, but a brushing a bull is not high on my list of fun things to do... or safe.

4.  Then we have the reindeer.  I have a whole herd of them...half of which are still tangled in Christmas lights.  What do you DO with reindeer after Christmas?  Since I'm not allowed to send them off to make sausage or jerkey - they just stand there waiting to be...can you guess?  Yes..waiting to be brushed. 

5.  Chickens.  Chickens, chickens, chickens.  I have approximately 512,917 chickens... and ONE chicken coop that holds 20.  WHY can't we have more than one coop?  We can have as many cow barns as we want... why not chicken coops?  I also want to know why we don't have buildings for all the other animals... doesn't seem too much to ask.  I've got goats (good gosh do I have goats), sheep, reindeer, horses, baby elephants (who produce circus peanuts??), rabbits, penguins, ducks and all sorts of critters with nowhere to live.  I don't know about YOUR farm, but it's snowy on my farm... is it too much to ask to have horse stables, rabbit hutches, pig sty's, goat & sheep barns...??  I'm not really sure WHAT penguins would need... maybe an igloo? 

6.  And pigs.  Pigs that harvest truffles.  I always thought that was only in England, but obviously I didn't know the whole story.  Why not ham, bacon & pork chops, hmmm?  No piglets yet - I guess because they can't be brushed.  The horses "product" is a little strange, too - you collect horse hair.  Tell me - what do we use horse hair for nowadays?  I'd like to know.... really. 

7. Because I don't have enough to do on my farm, I have cats.  About a billion & three at this point... all needing to be brushed on a regular basis.  Don't get me wrong - I LOVE cats.  But FV has given me TWO "Cat Lady" awards in the last week or two.  Is that supposed to be a compliment?

8.  Moving on past the critters... there are TREES.  Loads and loads of trees!  It's really an amazing environment where banana, date, apricot, passion fruit, fir, walnut, avocado, cherry, all manner of citrus, olive & sugar maples can all live together...in the snow.  I did have to break down and sell about 3/4's of my trees, though.  There wasn't enough room for me and the chickens to walk around.  I was afraid I was going to get permanently lost.

9.  I really have an issue with the storage facilities.  I have 3 large storage barns and five sheds  I am only allowed to keep 28 items total in these buildings.  Tell me - when was the last time YOU saw a storage shed with only 4 things inside?  I think, depending on your packing ability, the storage capacity should only be limited by your creativity.  I'm pretty sure one whole shed is taken up by the hot air balloon I just can't bear to get rid of...and then there is the alien plant monster I will use again later... but the rest of the stuff is pretty small.

10.   At one point, I had all my ducks in a row (ha ha - pun intended) - but they will NOT stay that way.  Shouldn't be surprised - they are migratory creatures after all... just saying. 

So - I know there's someone out there saying "If these things bother you - just quit playing."  But if you know me AT ALL, you know that isn't possible.  Me and my OCD personality could never let all those poor critters (virtual or not) perish from neglect... nor let my crops go unharvested (I've almost got the gold medal for raising squash!  I'll even get a sign to post!) or all the baby critters...and frustrated bulls... go unbrushed and unkempt.  Who would pick all the fruit?  Who would gather the turkey, swan & goose feathers?  Who would make sure the cats don't harrass the turtles?  How could I ever SLEEP AGAIN?  Sigh... my biggest problem now is that I have discovered Zoo World.  More beasties to care for...train...breed...feed.  As my alter ego (The Wicked Witch of the West) would say... what a world, what a world!!!!  :)