Thankful...

Once again I am at odds with myself.  I hear /read all of my friends posting about things they are thankful for... friends, family, good health, sunrise, sunset... you know.  All of those wonderful things (and I'm not being sarcastic... really!)  It makes me feel guilty that I do not do the same... but I just cannot bring myself to be so... what's the word?  Traditional?  Maybe.  Normal?  Probably better.  I am VERY thankful for all of those things, but as most everyone knows - I rarely express my thoughts quite like everyone else. 

I wrote a blog last November about a few of the things I was thankful for (here's a link if you want to read it: http://www.scrapbook.com/blogs/103603/view/131911.html )  I thought maybe another list was in order for this year...

1.  The automatic gate opener... just imagine - I used to have to GET OUT OF THE CAR to open the gate every time I needed to go somewhere.  THEN... I'd have to get out of the car to SHUT it again.  How did I manage to survive all those years with that kind of torment????  Thankfully, now I don't have to brave the rain, heat, wind... sigh... technology is my friend.

2.  Reading glasses.  Ok - let me get something straight right off the bat - I am NOT thankful that I need reading glasses.  I went FORTY YEARS (good gosh how did I get so old??) without needing glasses of any kind... well - I did need sunglasses (preferrably pink ones with rhinestones) but that's different.  All of a sudden, after turning 40 last December, I cannot read my magazines so well at night when I go to bed.  That really stinks, by the way.  I finally broke down and got a pair of reading glasses (the weakest ones, at least) not too long ago.  WOWZER - what a difference it makes.  I have learned, though, not to try to walk around with them on - it just doesn't work so well when the floor looks like it's closer than it is!

3.  Toilet Paper... enough said.

4.  The Beatles.  Gotta love 'em (and if you don't, I don't wanna know!)  John, Paul, George and Ringo are with me every day on my iPod and on my wall.  No... no poster.  But I do have a Beatles calendar this year.   She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah...

5.  Ambien.  It is simply amazing the amount of things I can get done in a day when I sleep more than 1 1/2 hours each night.  Who'd have thought? (I'm a much nicer person, too - just ask my children!)

6.  Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.  Omgosh if you haven't tried one of these, you HAVE to!  I don't know how they work, but with my 3 sons, 4 dogs, & 2 cats, I don't CARE how they work...black magic for all I care!  I used one to clean my glass-top stove yesterday... it had a stain that I had been scrubbing at off and on for 6 months (I had let something with milk in it boil over and it permanently attached itself to the stove... smelled good, too!)  It didn't even take a lot of scrubbing to get it off with the Magic Eraser.  Cleans pencil & pen marks off the walls, too.  Now, granted, I'm not sure WHY I have pencil & pen marks on my walls.  I thought that by the ages of 11, 15 & 16, the boys would have outgrown writing on the walls.  Not that it happens OFTEN or anything... but I guess I was WRONG.  AND I'm pretty sure the teenagers have little to do with it anymore...

7.  Sirius Satelite Radio (in my car).  I'm afraid I'll never be able to live without it again.  I'm addicted.  SOOOOOO many channels to choose from!  Did you know that Martha Stewart Radio has a show with the Pet guy from the MSL magazine (Marc or something like that)??  He's kinda... interesting.  I'm pretty sure he wouldn't approve of the living arrangements for my pets, being that I don't have luxury condo's for them and all, and don't feed them gourmet dog/cat food.  I'm also pretty sure he'd be horrified for all of the critters that are slaughtered by my pets, too (skunks, mice, snakes, armadillos (????), squirrels)...city boy that he is.  hee hee

8.  Air Freshener/Febreeze.  Oh dear Lord, if you don't have one, you have no idea of the stink of some teenage boys.  The smell in Jake's room is enough to knock out a gorilla some days.  I think he goes through a can of Febreeze every couple of weeks...  I don't think the carpet will ever be the same, regardless.  I don't even know HOW many air fresheners he has in there... the plug in ones, the Renuzit thingies, the motion sensor one.  Heaven forbid he go to sleep with door shut... when his SHOES are in there.  Last time he did that, some weird, green, living-funk smell escaped under the door and infected the whole upper floor.  I don't know how he breathes.  I'm sure this will have some sort of long-term effect on his lungs...possibly his brain, too.  Weird thing is - Justin's room doesn't stink at all.  hmmmm.

So there you have it... things I am very grateful for.  I also should add color printers, camera lenses, pink roses, cordless phones, spray starch, Johnny Depp, fluffy kitties, and chickens with Phyllis Diller hair-do's... but I don't have time.  :)

...thoughts on the eleven-year-old boy

You know... I am not surprised by many things that my boys do or say.  I pretty much expect 2-year-olds to have tantrums... and teenagers to look at me like I'm stupid... and curfews to be broken ever so slightly (but Mom - the clock in my truck says it's 10:57!)... but my youngest son, at 11, does surprise me at times.  It must be kinda confusing being 11.  On the verge of adolescence, but still really a little kid.  On the other hand - maybe it would be FUN being in that in-between area... still being able to CHOOSE if you're going to be a big kid or a little kid?  I remember that I still played with Barbie's, loved to play baseball with the boys, had just started babysitting away from home, and started 7th grade when I was 11.    Oh gosh... that says it all, doesn't it?!? 

Anyway... here are some of the things my CURRENT 11-year-old does that surprises me:

1.  Writes on himself.  Markers, pens... legs, feet, hands, arms...really doesn't matter.  I do not understand WHY, even though I've asked him.  Apparently he gets bored at school sometimes.  I ask why he doesn't draw on paper instead... he says I don't understand.  Yesterday he came home with a Pedro mustache drawn on his face.  HE didn't draw it... another boy did. Because he had drawn one on him.  OK then.  Perfectly sensible.  (sigh... can't BELIEVE I didn't get a photo of the Pedro mustache before I made him wash it off - what was I thinking???)

2.  Sits on the couch upside down reading a book (head hanging off the seat of the couch, legs in the air...you get the idea).  I'm pretty sure I used to do this, too, but that doesn't make it any easier to comprehend.  And why did he wait until NOW to start doing it?  He's been reading nearly all his life... are the stories more interesting upside down? 

3.  Drops things on the floor at random times... trash, shoes, books, remote controls... whatever he happens to have in his hands - as soon as something else catches his attention - poof - dropped right there.  When I ask him 'why???' - he actually doesn't realize he's done it.  Sheer lunacy.  He used to have a longer attention span.  I think.  Hmmmm.

4.  Girls.  OK - I know it's normal... but a little disconcerting that all of a sudden he LIKES them.  Does that just happen in 6th grade?  I don't remember the other 2 talking much about girls - but that could be because they had each other to talk to and didn't chat with me about it much.  Oh well... I guess it had to happen. 

5.  OK - this one kinda stresses me.  He is obsessive about deoderant & colognes (puts on deo 3 times/day and about drowns me out with Axe body spray...) but isn't real big on brushing his teeth yet (althought I make sure he DOES brush 2x/day!!!).  I tried to tell him that stinky-breath cancels out cologne & deoderant.  Hopefully one day he'll listen.  It might take a girl telling him he has bad breath, tho.

6.  Hides his dirty socks.  I find balled up socks in the STRANGEST places.  Not just under the bed & in the closet... places he had to FIND to hide the socks... places that it woud have been easier for him to put them in the laundry than there... like behind towels in the linen closet.  Or behind the VCR in the TV cabinet.  Or under pillows on the couch.  I've even found them under his mattress.  The boy has a serious aversion to the laundry room.  Or maybe he's leaving little presents for me... stinky-feet presents?  Maybe wants me to think of him while he's away at school each day?  Wishful thinking, I know.

None of these things make me particulary ANGRY... sometimes it's aggravating, but mostly just...interesting and a lot of times funny.  He is a great kid... still tells me he loves me several times each day.  Makes me laugh all the time (sometimes at the same time he makes me want to strangle him.)  He's got an AWESOME sense of humor - as shown in his choice of Halloween costumes this year.  He wanted to be something "different" but we couldn't think of anything in time.  So he decided to buy a silver skeleton mask and a black, hooded cloak and just be a scary guy.  At the last minute, he ran back upstairs and got the finishing touch to his outfit... a plastic afro.  It was hysterical - Justin & Jake were calling him the "African King."  I thought he looked like one of the aliens out of the movie "Mars Attacks" (I think that's the one, anyway.)   

Sure wishing he could stay this age for longer than he will...

Ode to Sonic Route 44 Fountain Cokes (without any rhyming)

So... over the last year or so I've started drinking Coke.  It started with insomnia... (it's funny how 2 hours of sleep at night affects your mind & body, don't you think?) and I was desperate for caffeine.  Until then, I rarely ever drank sodas/cokes/ soft drinks (whatever you want to call them) - even as a kid.  This has all changed now.  Mind you - I STILL don't drink most things... I abhor Dr. Pepper; Sprite remind me of stomach flu; Pepsi tastes like watered down Coke...you get the picure -  I only drink Coke.  Classic Coke.    Mmmmmmm...

Just for reference - my favorite thing in the whole world is a Route 44 fountain coke from Sonic.  Sigh...what could be better?  The ice... ohhhhh, the ice.  Why can't everyone have ice like that?  We looked into getting an ice maker that would make "Sonic Ice"... it was $600.  Guess who doesn't get a Sonic Ice ice machine???

Unfortunately for me, the longer I drink Coke, the more I notice the differences in the different TYPES of Classic Coke.  It's disturbing, really... why don't all of the bottling options taste the same?  Bottling options?  Does that even make sense?  Do they call the factory where they put the Coke in cans a "Canning Plant"?  I've never heard of Coca Cola Canning - just Coca Cola Bottling.  How strange.  Sorry...getting off-subject.

This is where I started - canned Coke.  It costs the least and is the easiest to recycle.  Didn't take me long (especialy once I discovered Sonic fountain cokes) to realize that there's something ODD  about the taste of Coke in a can.  Don't get me wrong - when there's nothing else available, this will do... but it is a FAR CRY from a Sonic fountain coke, which as I'm sure you know, is the Holy Grail of all drinks.  I can't quite pin it down, but I'm sure it has something to do with being in a metal can - can drinks taste "aluminumy"????

This is coming a bit closer.  Quite a bit, actually.  But STILL not nearly as satisfyingly yummy as Sonic fountain coke.  There's still something missing - it tastes... sharper, maybe?  I finished a fountain Coke a little while ago and felt like I could still use a little more caffeine.  So, I poured a bottle of coke on top of the remaining ice (my fountain coke was from Charlie's Country Store (the Exxon station just South of town) this morning - they have ice that is SOOO close to Sonic ice and a 44 oz drink costs a LOT less, too!)  Let me just say that the difference between my last drink of fountain Coke and my first drink of bottled Coke was shocking - depressingly shocking.  Of course, I'm still going to DRINK it... but sigh... to have my own Coke fountain would be glorious.  I wonder could it be that fountain cokes have more SUGAR?  LOL - ya think?

BTW - just so you know - this is NASTY.  I do not understand how anyone can drink it.  Every now and then I'll accidently end up with Diet Coke and when I taste it, I just want to shave my tongue!  Grody.  And then there's the after taste...(insert me shuddering here)  And it stays with you forever!  I WISH I liked Diet Coke... I really do - I could really dig the low calorie thing.  But it tastes NOTHING like Coke... NOTHING AT ALL.  I refuse - so there!

I only have one thig to say about Coke Zero...

IT'S A LIE!  (no, no - it does have zero calories - they're not lying about THAT.  But it does NOT taste like Coke.  Blech.)


This concludes my dissertation on Classic Coke. Tune in next time to hear my opinion on glassware (well - cupware would be a better description... basically if my Coke doesn't come in a styrfoam cup - FORGET IT- the ice will melt before you can drink half of it... and the bottom falls out of the paper cups... oh, nevermind!)

Oh my gosh this is YUMMY!

I was a busy, busy girl last night! I baked 2 loaves of Pumpkin Bread and 2 loaves of Chocolate Chip Banana Bread... my family LOVES me when I bake!  :)

I tried a new recipe for Banana Bread... it is FANTASTIC!  It almost reminds me of pound cake - so rich and smooth.  I know not everyone gets as excited about banana bread as I do... but it is REALLY worth trying!  It exchanges cream cheese for about half of the butter... I used low fat whipped cream cheese and it worked perfectly (it was all I had, but I think I'll ALWAYS use it.)  I also used "I Can't Believe it's Not Butter - for Baking" and I think I'll be using it for all of my baking from now on - YUM!  SO much better than margarine!  The recipe calls for nuts... but YUCK-O - I do NOT like nuts in my bread...so I put about a cup of chocolate chips instead.  How can you go wrong with chocolate????

Cream Cheese-Banana-Nut Bread

3/4 cup butter, softened
1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened
2 cups sugar
2 large eggs
3 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups mashed bananas (1 1/2 pounds unpeeled bananas, about 4 medium)
1 cup chopped pecans, toasted (or chocolate chips...untoasted!  LOL)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

BEAT butter and cream cheese at medium speed with an electric mixer until creamy.  Gradually add sugar, beating until light and fluffy.  Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating just until blended after each addition.

COMBINE flour and next 3 ingredients; gradually add to butter mixture, beating at low speed just until blended. Stir in bananas, pecans, and vanilla.  Spoon batter into 2 grased and floured 8x4" loaf pans.

BAKE at 350 degrees for 1 hour or until a long wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean and sides pull away from pan, shielding with aluminum foil last 15 minutes to prevent over-browning (this is important!)  Cool bread in pans on wire racks 10 minutes.  Remove from pans, and cool 30 minutes on wire racks before slicing.

MAKES 2 loaves.

Maybe a window shade would help?

Stephen King talks to me.  Really... he does!  Not all the time (thank Goodness!) but he DOES talk to me.

In our master bathroom, the toilet is located in a tiny little room -  I guess it's called the "powder room"... all it has is the toilet, a cabinet above it and a window.  This window looks out into our side yard.  The side yard has trees.  Trees and grass.  It's a pretty view... in the day time.

I drink a lot of water.  I mean a LOT of water.. all day, every day.  This means I tinkle a lot (... I know tinkle is a silly word, but "urinate" is not in my vocabulary, ok?)  Night time is no exception.  I have to get up to tinkle AT LEAST once every night.  Sometimes twice.

Night time "out in the country"... because "out in the country" is where I live... is DARK.  There are no street lights.  There aren't any other houses in view from the windows of our home.  When you look out the windows - you see black... or a cat face staring back in, but that's a different story. 

Because I drink a lot of water, it is inevitable that I must use the "powder room" at night.  Mostly this is ok, because I am still 95% asleep.  I may run into the wall or door frame but not all the time and I seldom remember it.

Sometimes... sometimes I am more awake... and Stephen King talks to me.  Sometimes, while I am tinkling (sorry, sorry - TMI, I know!) I hear things outside the window.  Wind?  Raccoons?  It's those nights that he speaks...

SK - "Ooooh - what's making that noise?"
ME - "I don't know."
SK - "Why don't you look out the window and see?"
ME - "I don't think so."
SK - "Why not?  It's probably just a raccoon."
ME - "Probably.  But it's DARK out there - I'm still not looking."
SK - "... but you know you want to LOOK..."
ME - "No I don't."
SK - "It's not like it's the Boogeyman... or a Vampire... or a rabid wolf."
ME - "Of course not... I think."
SK - "Oh, just go ahead and look."
ME - "No."
SK - "You're probably right... I wouldn't look either.  What if it IS the Boogeyman?"
ME - "There's no such thing as the Boogeyman...???"
SK - "Of course not... but what if there IS?  What if his face is RIGHT THERE at the window?"

This is where I panic and desperately claw my way out of the bathroom and dive into bed (making sure my feet are UNDER the covers and NOT leaking over the edge of the bed)... waking up Kelly, who asks, "Stephen King again?" 

Winning Games = Happy Cox Family

All is good in the world of the Cox's when we have a good sports weekend.  No one is depressed... no one is sulking (well...not about football anyway)... no one is ranting at people who aren't here.  This is all VERY good for me, Mom...the one who ends up trying to pick up the pieces of the broken-hearted children who don't want to be cheered up after their team loses.  Oooh - did I say children? Hmmmm...how about GUYS?  Because, really, I have to include Kelly in that, too - if the 'Horns were to lose, he would NOT want cheering up, either.  Boys.

Jake started the weekend off with a bang last Thursday.  The MFHS JV Football team beat Hays Lehman 14-0.  Jake even got his name in the paper (which rarely even mentions the JV team!) when Coach Woerner said, "Outstanding blocking by Jake Cox, Herman Ortiz and Justice Ribera lead Hall into the end zone."  Yay Jake!!!

Friday night Zed and the Varsity Mustangs won big against Reagan, too - winning their game 51-6. 

Saturday started off great with Jackson's soccer team winning 5-1 against the River City Rangers.  RCR shouldn't have even had a point (officiating mistake) but that's ok.  This was the Eagles' first game of the season and they played GREAT!  It is going to be fun watching the rest of the games.

Of course the big excitement of the weekend was the UT/Tech game Saturday night.  Longhorns didn't look as strong as usual, but it turned out that 3 of them (including Colt McCoy) had the flu... but they beat Tech anyway!  Hook 'em!

We'll leave our successful sports weekend at Saturday night... because, well... then there was the Cowboy game Sunday night, and who wants to talk about THAT?   OOOOH - but I did win my game in Fantasy Football again... I'm 2-0 now.  Much to the annoyance of my husband and sons.  Hee hee...

Make it stop...

I am afraid to go downstairs.


They're waiting... at the door at the bottom of the stairs.  At the door to the porch in my bedroom.  At the window sill in the living room.  They follow me.


"Make it stop," they say.


 It started last night.  Molly-cat usually spends most of the night outside with Lewis-cat.  It started raining about 11pm.  Molly scratched on the door to be let in (I'm starting to think that the pretty French doors in my bedroom that lead to the back porch were not such a good idea...)  She came in... meowed...meowed again... I was half asleep so I shut the door and got back into bed.  She immediately scratched at the door to be let back out. 


Lewis was there - he said  "MAAAWWWWRRRRR" - Lewis doesn't "meow" - he MAWR's.  It's pathetic really.  He didn't want to come in.  He just wanted to complain about the rain.  "Make it stop, please," he said. 


Molly ran back out onto the porch - looked at me, looked at the yard and said, "meOW!"  I shut the door and went back to bed.  Impudent little wretch.


She scratched at the door again.  I ignored her for a while, but then got up and let her back in so she woudn't wake Kelly up (dangerous for all involved).  This happened at least every hour all night.  Ever have an argument with a cat at 3am?


Then, this morning, I let her in (still raining) before I took a shower.  She followed me into the bathroom, complaining loudly.  I sat on the floor to pet her - she would have NONE of it.  I went and opened the door again - she ran to the door, but just stood there looking out, looking at me, looking out...you get the idea.  Molly has a VERY large vocabulary for a cat.  I'm not sure exactly what she was saying, but I figure it started out with something like "I'm losing my patience with you - MAKE IT STOP" and went downhill from there.  I probably don't want to know what she really said.  She woudn't go out, so I shut the door and went back to take a shower.  She followed me.  I sat down again and tried to talk to her - she hissed at me.  Then, completely unprovoked, bit me on the foot, complained some more then bit me on the leg.  I jumped in the shower to protect myself.


After my shower, I put her outside...which was a little disturbing because Lewis was at the door just STARING in at me.  He didn't say anything - I guess he'd given up on that.  But I was getting the message anyway - MAKE IT STOP.  I went into the living room - and there was Molly at the window - STARING in... "Make it stop NOW."  Even now I can feel them thinking at me...and it's getting ominous.  I know that if I were to walk down the stairs, there would be mad little cat-faces staring in at me from the doors and windows... "Make it STOP..."


Kinda reminds me of "The Birds."

Thoughts on filling out forms... SCHOOL forms. Ugh.

OK - Kindergarten Registration - I get that.  I understand that you've got a fresh little five-year-old ready to start school.  You need to know everything there is to know about this child - where he lives, who his parents are, emergency contacts, allergies... a LOT of stuff.

Junior in High School... (AKA the 11th year this child has been in the SAME school district... the 3rd year this child has been at the VERY SAME school, living at the same address, with the same phone numbers, the same Social Security Number (we thought about changing it once, just to keep things interesting...), the same Siblings, the same Parents...FOREVER!) - THIS I don't get.    

By the way - I KNOW they know his name, address & my name because they MAILED ME THE FORMS the week before school started.  Ha!  Bet they didn't think I would catch onto that!  I am also pretty sure they know our phone numbers because the Principal sent out a "calling post" making sure everyone knew when school started.  I got the call on my home phone AND my cell phone.  And, amazingly enough, when he went to "register" a couple of days before school started, and had to bring all his forms with him, they already had his class schedule ready... WITH his name, I might add.  So it's not like they don't know who he is.

To add insult to injury... the Registration form is not the only one you have to fill out. Noooo - it's only the beginning... a teaser... you also have:

The Medical Form (which has the same information as the registration form, but asks if they have any strange food allergies and such.)

The Emergency Contact Form (which has the same stuff as the reg form, too - just in a different order.  See where this is going?)

The US Citizenship Form (just in case we snuck in some random child from Portugal and tried to claim him as our own - verifies address & parent's names)

The Migrant Worker Form (??? what is this - Grapes of Wrath?)

The School District Residency Form (again...verifiying address and parents' names)

The Free Lunch Form

The I-Promise-I-Won't-Look-at-Nasty-Stuff-on-the-Internet Form (kinda speaks for itself)

The I-Don't-Want-A-Copy-of-the-Handbook-but-Promise-to-Read-it-Online Form

The Yes-You-Can-Take-Photos-of-My-Child-and-Post-Them-on-the-Internet-as-Long-as-You-Don't-Post-Their-Name Form

The Bus-Rider Form, PTO Membership Form, Booster Club Form... gosh - I think I'll stop before I wear myself out!

I just wonder WHY they can't make ONE form and copy it??  Send one copy to the District Office, one copy to the Nurse, one to the School Office... you know - so everyone has the same information.  Wonder what would happen if we filled out all of the forms with different info?  Do you think they'd notice?  Do you think if you put that your child suffered from homicidal schitzophrenic episodes on one form, and not on the others, it would raise a flag?  How do they know for sure you're using the correct SSN?  What if it was just your Jr. High bike lock code?  Wonder if they'd notice if I put a different father's name on all the forms?  hmmmm???  

Multiply this all by 3 (because I have THREE children who have all been in the same School District their entire school-going lives) and you could have some fun.  BUT if they DID notice, I'm afraid they might send the men in the white coats...

Soccer and Religion

Before I get to the REAL part of this entry, I have to tell you a little "pre-story" stuff. As you probably know, I am the Registrar for our town's soccer league. This means that I make sure that all the kids are registered in the online system, blah blah blah... Anyway - yesterday we had a little issue arise in which a 12 year old boy's family wants him to play on a team with 16 year old boys. I personally think he's too small, but that's not the point here. It is totally up to the Soccer Board to make that decision, and they are working on it. However... emails started going back and forth last night that got me giggling. (Before I go any further - please know I'm absolutely NOT being sacreligious... just put yourself in my position and tell me what YOU would have been thinking!)

Oh, and I should mention that the 12 year old boy's name is Jesus. Yes, yes... I KNOW it's pronounced "Hey-Zeus"...but when you SEE it written (or typed, I guess) - admit it - it's JESUS.

First email I received last night - Subject line:

Adding Jesus temporarily to the team

I had to do a double take. Being that this was the first I'd heard of the situation - I didn't know WHAT he was talking about until I read the body of the email. As I do quite often, I assumed that the person who sent me this email might have a similar sense of humor, so I fired back, "Wow! That'll be a heck of a lineup! Surely they'll win with Jesus on their team?!"

He didn't get it. AT ALL. Sigh... such is my life at times.

I didn't think any more of it... actually had kinda forgotten about it this morning. THEN - the first email I see this morning was this... had the same subject line, then:

"We need a written letter from the parents requesting Jesus to play up that many age groups. Without the letter, I wouldn't even consider allowing Jesus to practice with the team."

Needless to say - I was off again... laughing so hard tears were pouring down my face. I had so many things to SAY... so many questions to ask... but would this man understand? I feared he would not. BUT - the Treasurer certainly would - he's a very funny guy... so I forwarded it to him and asked:

1. Won't it be unfair for Jesus to only play for one team?

2. How does one go about contacting Mary & Joseph? Do they have email? Cell phones?

3. Does anyone on the Board speak Aramaic?

4. Does He have the correct shoes? You know you can't play soccer in sandals.

5. If we decide NOT to let him play... WHO is going to tell Him?

All important questions when considering letting a Supreme Being play in your soccer league... wouldn't you think?

Worth Repeating

- a blog entry I wrote last year for a friend who was considering volunteering to be her son's room mother.

Tell me if this sounds familiar... you go to "Meet the Teacher" night with your little darling before school starts for the year, and sign your name on a piece of paper saying you'll help with class parties and such. Next thing you know, you are the Room Mother and are IN CHARGE of the class parties. "How did this happen?", you ask? I'll tell you - - You were probably the first one to sign the paper - all the other moms were just waiting for someone ELSE to sign first so they could just send cookies. Now you know. If you're the first one to sign - you get the job. I think I've always been the first to sign - it took me several years to catch on to how the system works. Now, being the control freak that I am, I WANT to be the Room Mother. And all the other mothers WANT me to be the Room Mother, too. It's works out well.

I have learned some interesting and useful things in all my years of being a room mother, though. I'm going to share some of them with you just in case you are ever the first one to sign the paper...

First and foremost is that 2nd graders DO NOT need a chocolate fountain at their Christmas Party. ( NOOOOO, it was NOT my idea - nor was it in my class - just the neighboring room.) I'm sure I don't have to explain the horrors (OR the MESS) ... but needless to say, the teacher and mothers were in a state of shock when they left that afternoon.

Second - as fun as cookie decorating SOUNDS...when you mix tubs of frosting, sprinkly-things and sugar cookies with a group of 1st graders - someone is going to throw up. Most of them are smart enough to know they shouldn't eat the mound of frosting & candy they've created... but there's always ONE LITTLE BOY who decides to go for it... and pays. Then we ALL pay.

Third - I have also learned that no matter HOW stiff the icing is, you cannot get a graham cracker "gingerbread house" to DRY COMPLETELY by the end of ANY class party... they will just collapse when it's time to go home... then there are tears...and I HATE tears.

Fourth - gift exchanges are a BAAAAAAD idea... some deranged mother always sends socks or pencils or some other "useful" present - and then the child who gets the socks, instead of the cool bubble-blowing gun that Johnny got, feels cheated and inevitably cries (remember the tears thing above?) Actually... I knew this BEFORE I became a room mom... I got socks 2 years in a row when I was in 4th and 5th grades. Now tell me... WHO sends knee socks as an Elementary School christmas present????? (yes, I'm afraid I was scarred for life by this) Stick to book exchanges if you must do a gift swap... it's safer.

Fifth - candy is GOOD! Yes, it will make them crazy-hyper (which, honestly, they were going to be anyway - it's a PARTY, remember?) But the best part is - once you have given them all the candy and cookies and sugary stuff - GUESS WHO THEY GET TO GO HOME TO??? Yes... their mothers, most of whom DID NOT help with the party. :) Vindication.

Well... I guess I've imparted enough wisdom for today (and probably scared you all away from EVER buying socks as a gift again...I hope!) Happy party-planning!!

Pole Dancing & Soccer

I want to start right now by saying... I am not and never have been a pole dancer. This is important for you to know.

(Play Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar on Me" for the best efffect while reading this post...)

Who knew that helping some little girls at soccer pratice learn to do cartwheels could turn into a career possibility? (notice I did say could - not would!) Stranger things have happened, I guess.

While we were working on cartwheels, one of the sweet, darling girls said, "I wish I could do the splits. Diana, could YOU do the splits when you were a little girl?" I should have stopped there, I guess. I should have said, "Nope, not me!" Instead I said, "I can still do the splits." (Mistake #2 - yes I know you don't know what #1 was yet. Be patient.) After which began the pleading and begging for me to actually DO the splits - right there on the soccer field for all to see. I caved. When I thought the fewest people would be looking, I did the splits for them. (Mistake #3) It was over in a few seconds - I was back on my feet acting like nothing had ever happened. Whew.

During this time, most of the other mothers who had stayed at practice were walking... being productive and exercising. (here is Mistake #1 - I SHOULD have been with them! This would have prevented this whole fiasco AND I would have burned some calories!) As soon as these mothers finished walking and sat back down - these traitorious little girls ran to them and said, "Diana can do the splits!!! She showed us!" ...much to the amusement of their mothers. After refusing to do it again for them to see, I thought it was all over...no one saw.

Flash forward to last night at soccer practice. One of the other mothers (who was not present last week) says to me, "I hear you can do the splits?" WHAT??? How did SHE know? Her son probably didn't see me - he was practicing. Oh no... maybe her husband? He's one of the coaches. Damn...forgot about the coaches. I tried to explain that I was just playing "gymnastics" with the little girls... blah blah blah. (OK - I have to say RIGHT NOW, though, that this mother is a dear friend of mine and one of the sweetest and funniest people I know... other wise you might get the wrong impression of her.) Her next comment was, "How did you learn to do the splits? Was it previous job experience?" We laughed and laughed. THEN she said, "We should take a picture of you doing the splits and post it on Facebook! That would be so fun!" Gasp... what? I replied, "Ummm... I have quite a few Fraternity guys from my college days who are my FB friends. I don't think that is such a good idea...I can just imagine what they would say." This degenerated into a whole conversation of possible comments from the frat boys... culminating with the possbility that I was a pole dancer while in college. We all laughed until our sides hurt... I LOVE soccer practices like that! It's amazing the friendships that are forged while watching your children run laps. I do want to clear one thing up, though:

I was NOT a pole dancer in college.

Although... if someone had told me I could make a lot of money doing the splits on poles and dancing to Def Leppard... I might have considered it. I was not very good at thinking about future consequences at that time of my life...so who knows what I would have done. hee hee...

Homecoming Mums

It has been called to my attention that not everyone knows what a "Homecoming Mum" is. Hmmm... wonder if it's just a Texas thing? Surely not... maybe a SOUTHERN thing? Football IS big down here...

Anyway - for those of you who have never heard of such... here are a couple of photos of the last one I made (when Jake was in 8th grade). The day of Homecoming, the boys bring their dates a "mum". Usually it is a silk mum, but can be fresh, too. They're generally HUGE...like face sized - lol. And we hang all sorts of ribbons and trinkets and bells and stuff from them (I spend an average of $100 each at the craft store buying all the STUFF... it's a matter of pride, you know!) You can make them as fancy or plain as you like - but the more stuff you cram onto one, the better! If the couple is dating, you put their names on the ribbons. If the boy plays football - you have his jersey number and maybe football charms. In this case, Jake played football and his date was a cheerleader, so I had little cheerleader charms, as well. You can buy a premade/decorated mum at local grocery stores & florists the week before homecoming, but most people like to make their own so they're more personalized. I actually still have my Senior Homecoming Mum somewhere... definitely a keepsake!

Most of the time girls pin them on their shirts, but they can get so big they have to hang them around their neck. I got a little carried away with this one - and kinda forgot that she is a TINY little thing. Her mom had to trim the ribbons so she wouldn't trip over them and it was so heavy it hung down to her navel. Oh well... she loved it anyway (and I bet she still has it!)

Conversation with Jackson yesterday...

Conversation with Jackson (11) after school:

Mom: So, do you have any cute girls in your classes this year?

Jackson: Ummm, not really.

Mom: I guess that's probably a good thing - fewer distractions, right?

Jackson: No, that's NOT a good thing.

Mom: Why?

Jackson: I want to "get" a girlfriend by next week.

Mom: You want to GET a girlfriend?

Jackson: Yes. Homecoming is next Friday and I want to go with her.

Mom: Who?

Jackson: I don't know yet, but surely I can find a girlfriend in a week.

Mom: Is there anyone you LIKE?

Jackson: No, but I'll find someone.

Mom: Oh...

Jackson: If I get a girlfriend by next Thursday can you make her a Homecoming Mum like you made Jake's girlfriend?

Mom: Overnight? Are you kidding?

Jackson: No, I'm not kidding - she'll need a mum to wear to the Homecoming game.

Mom: I MIGHT be able to throw something small together, but that's ok - you're only in 6th grade.

Jackson: I want to her to have a BIG one - the BEST one, like you made Jake's girlfriend.

Mom: You want me to make a $125 Homecoming mum overnight for a girl that you haven't even discovered yet? Really????

Jackson: Yes. Can you?

Mom: ummmmm.... let's talk about it this weekend (hoping he forgets by then.)

Sigh.....

I want to know...

...how the kitchen floor gets SO dirty?
...why boys stink (literally, not figuratively)?
...why football coaches think they run the world?
...when magazine and book print became so SMALL?
...how the laundry pile multiplies like rabbits when I'm not looking?
...why chocolate cake has so many calories?
...why Middle School vice principals have to terrorize the children the first several weeks of school?
...why so many people think 'Family Guy' is funny?
...how virtual farming can be SO addicting?
...when DO the cows come home?
...why God made scorpions?
...why did they put Disney World in the hottest part of the country?
...did chicken pox come from chickens? (if so - shouldn't we call it Chicken Flu?)
...why I can't be Martha Stewart?
...how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
...why I always want to take a nap when it rains?
...why some people are just MEAN?
...how to bake bread without a bread machine (that isn't hard like a rock)
...where does mildew come from? Is it always there, on seemingly clean surfaces, just waiting to grow?
...why...hmmmm...I think that's all the questions I have for now.

Pondersome, isn't it?

Meet the Boys... (aka B2S 2009)

Before I do anything else - I just need to say that I have the most wonderful kids in the world. I know, I know - I'm a little partial being that I gave birth to them and all, but really.... how many teenage & pre-teen boys do YOU know who willingly and ungrudgingly (is that a word?) sit for photos for their mother? Especially at 7:00 in the morning before the first day of school? Exactly - I thought so. They don't complain or grumble or refuse to smile...they do get rowdy and silly sometimes, but that's ok - it happens. Anyway - they're pretty awesome, if I do say so myself.

These are some of the photos from Monday morning's B2S photo shoot... I just love them...so full of personality. I let each boy bring what they love most (besides me, of course - lol). Gosh...there are some scrapbook pages just WAITING to happen!!!

This is Justin... 16 years old, driving (SO important to mention!), & a Junior in High School. Pictured here with his 2 favorite things - his Ibanez guitar and his dog, Gracie. Sporting stylish, new Abercrombie white shorts and American Eagle shirt... and of course, his favorite Sperry loafers. This kid is not going to have much of a life for a while... his schedule includes Pre-AP Calculus, AP American History, AP Chemistry, AP Computer Science, Pre-AP Language Arts III, AP Spanish IV, Newspaper & some random technology course he has to take. He had his 1st 4 classes yesterday - and 3 of them gave him homework...REAL homework...the first day of school. Sigh... I know it'll be for the best in the long run, but it's surely no fun right now! He got his first real job this summer, which ended 2 weeks before school started, so at least he had a little time off. Justin recently started playing guitar in our church's Praise Service (which means this night owl has to be at church at 7am - lol!) My Dad is so proud he could almost burst... :)

Next we have Jake... 15, just got his learner's driving permit about a week ago (and is happily scaring the daylights out of his mother every chance he gets!), and is a Sophomore in High School (also taking mostly Pre-AP classes.) Jake loves football, football, and...um... football. He lives for it, you could say. He plays Tight End for the JV team - their first game is this coming Thursday. He also loves playing violent, war-type games on the XBox360 - like Call of Duty & Gears of War... typical teenage boy. I don't see the fun in those type of games, but then I lack the testosterone needed to enjoy violence, I think. LOL - whatever. He's a great kid - no worries! Oh - almost forgot - he also loves to EAT. Beef, preferably - or eggs. Whatever it is - it needs to be in LARGE amounts. If I don't have enough of whatever it is we are eating for him to have as much as he thinks he needs - I get this look like, "Mother...don't you LOVE me? I'm half starved!" And Lord help me if I were to serve a meal without MEAT... tried it once over the summer (spaghetti with no meat - just sauce, noodles & cheese) and there was almost a mutiny - they all three FREAKED! Boys!

The 2nd photo here is of Jake being invisible in his Abercrombie camo shorts. I can't see him - can you?

Finally we come to Jackson... 11 years old, started 6th grade yesterday - Middle School... geez, I'm still in shock about that one. (nevermind - it's not 'pity-party for Mom' time right now...) Anyone want to guess what Jackson's "thing" is? Yup - soccer. He's starting his 5th season with the Eagles. I'm really surprised he didn't choose to wear red, white & black to school on the first day. Most of the school clothes he picked out were his team colors - lots of Adidas and Under Armour stuff. Guess he wanted to look like the big boys. Of course - all of his new American Eagle clothes have an EAGLE on them - so I guess he's covered either way! Jackson is also working on his adult Black Belt in Taekwondo. He's got 3 stripes on his red/black belt - 2 more to go! Poor kid has had a bit of a rough summer... he was diagnosed as OCD with a vocal tic disorder. Long story, but he's doing better - still has a ways to go, but we're hoping the meds work well enough so that school is not a challenge for him. He gets to start Pre-AP classes this year, too - Language Arts & Math and a GT Explorations class. I have been so blessed to have smart kids!

Love, love, love them! :)

Dear Miss Kitty...

Do you know how fun it is to sew with you around? Really... it's fun to do ANYTHING with you around. But sewing is especially so. I just love how you pull all the pins out of the pincushions and throw them on the floor. It's sweet when you paw at the needle going up and down. How did you know that everything I make is for you?? You lay on whatever I'm making, so you MUST know. And when you're feeling extra helpful, after I've put you on the floor over and over again - you start knocking things off of the sewing table...or my desk...or the shelves - whatever you can find. Such a sweet little helper - what would I do without you? Only you know how much I love to remove cat hair from all of my projects... or pull pins out of the carpet... and that my FAVORITE thing is rewinding thread onto spools. It's nice to know you care so much.

Vacation?

Some might think that going to the beach with a husband (only 1, thankfully), 5 boys (11, 12, 15 & 2 16-year olds), a crazy brother & his Russian fiance' would not qualify as a "vacation". I might have to agree. We DID have a fantastic time, though! No one was terribly damaged by the sun (we all had crispy noses but there's not a lot you can do about that!). No one had any painful encounters with jellyfish (which is definitely a first!), rays or sharks (would have BEEN a first, but is certainly worth noting!) Several of the boys were accosted by hermit crabs - so there was a LITTLE blood, but nothing major. All-in-all a relatively pain free trip!

Kelly rented 2 long surf boards, so there were 3 total, and he and the older boys spent most of their time surfing. Who knew you could catch so many waves on Texas beaches??? I didn't even TRY to surf this year. Last year I tried...once. A wave rolled me and popped the surf board up... which came down and bonked me on the head so hard I saw stars and didn't know my name for a few minutes. That is enough for me. I'll stay on the shore and take lots of photos! :) Much safer for so many reasons - like there are NEVER any sharks out of the water! I'm not fond of sharks. Actually I'm not terribly fond of any animal that wants to EAT me...sharks, crocodiles, alligators...you know the ones - big with lots of teeth? Snakes, I can handle... spiders... mice... but not sharks. EXCEPT on TV... they're fascinating when they'e safe behind the glass of the TV screen. Even so - I still find myself trying to talk the people OUT of getting in the water with them. They don't listen.

I took a TON of photos, as usual, and if I was smarter than I am, I would put them on a slideshow as part of this blog entry... but I'm NOT smarter than I am and I don't know how to do that. Maybe someday.

Yesterday I...

made 7.5 gallons of YUMMY smoked salsa (which, just so you know, is a LOT more work than it looks like! lol)!

This involved the following:

1. Coring, quartering & seeding 3 cases of tomatoes

2. Peeling & quartering 16 pounds of onions

3. Roasting & peeling 22 heads of garlic

4. Removing seeds from 200 jalapenos (burned the skin on my hands, too - didn't have any gloves!)

5. Smoking tomatoes, jalapenos & onions on the big wood smoker outside (actually Kelly does this part :) YAY Kelly!)

After veggies were smoked I:

1. Removed skins from tomatoes & put through the food processor (82 cups of chopped tomatoes)

2. Put jalapenos & onions in food processor (14 cups of onions, 6 cups of jalapenos)

3. Chopped 2 bunches of cilantro

4. Pureed the garlic (about 4 cups)

All of these ingredients plus several bottles of red wine vinegar & canning salt - and voila! The BEST salsa EVER!

Of course... my work was not over. It all still needed to be put in jars and sealed. Luckily we had sterilized all of the jars the night before...several dishwasher loads!

The canner holds 7 jars at a time... this was a looooong process! LOL

What we ended up with: 3 Quarts, 48 pints & 9 half-pints of pretty-dang-spicy yumminess!!!! Yes, this seems like a lot, I know. But after my brother, Josh, takes his 20 or so jars, and we give the quarts to a friend's parents, and give out random jars throughout the year - by next summer it will be GONE!

LOVE this boy...