What do they have against chickens?

Day 3 of vacation with the family.  We have discovered something disturbing at our otherwise AWESOME rented house on the beach here in Anna Maria Island, Florida.  Apparenty there are giant chickens roaming the area.  No, that is not the disturbing part... that would be that it seems they bury these giant chickens with their feet sticking out of the ground.  Maybe to scare the others away?  Hmmmm... giant beach chickens.  As you can imagine, the other birds are concerned about this brutality...  I met gulls and sand pipers and pelicans (oh my) convening on the beach to discuss.  

(I also discovered beach doves hiding in the sea grass...doves on the beach???)  I would be worried about this if I weren't reasonably sure that chickens are NOT carnivorous. 

Tune in to our regularly scheduled vacation blogging later...

Two Facts & Two Questions

Just a few quick thoughts tonight...something that just occurred to me.

Fact #1:  My home phone number is very close to our local police station's number.  The last four digits of MY number are 1136... the police station is 3611.  I learned this within 2 days of moving into our new house in 1999.  We moved in on a Thursday, got our first call Friday night about midnight.  It went something like this:

Me - "Hello" (veeery sleepy voice)
Caller - "Is this the police?"
Me - "ummm, no???"
Caller - "This is not the police station?"
Me - "No, this is my house."
Caller - "Did the police station change their number?  What is the number for the police station?"
Me - "I don't know.  All I know is you called my house.  What number did you dial?"
Caller - "Are you NEAR the police station?"
Me - "No..."
Caller - "Is this 693-3611?"
Me - "No - this is 1136, you switched the numbers."
Caller - "Are you sure?"
Me - "Well... I think so..."

Anyway... this has happened many, many times.  Usually on weekend nights, especially on Holidays, and ALWAYS after midnight.  Why do people call the police station after midnight, anyway?  Wouldn't they dial 911 if there was an emergency?  It used to aggravate me, but now, even in my sleep, I can tell them the correct number to dial.  No problemo.

Fact #2:  I am the registrar for the local soccer association.  Approximately 57 billion people in Marble Falls and surrounding towns have my phone number (give or take a few...lol) and it's posted on the association's website and registration flyers, too.  A lot of people call me... a LOT... mucho lotto.

Question #1:  If so many people who are trying to call the police station call ME... how many people who are trying o call ME, call the police station?  Hmmmm???  I never stopped to think about that before.  Until tonight.  Tonight when I got home from soccer practice (and, God help me, "Junior Parent Night" at the High School which-I-am-totally-not-prepared-for-but-that's-another-story) and had TWELVE, yes TWELVE new soccer voice mails.

Question #2:    Should I call the police station and see if I have any messages?????

To farm or not to farm... THAT is the question.

So.... FarmVille.  You either love it or you don't.  Well... maybe not.  I have differing opinions, depending on the day.  But, bottom line is - I play FarmVille.  Although "play" might not be the right word.  Farming is WORK, people!  So many decisions, so much to be done, so many animals, a virtual (literally) forest of trees... sigh.  It all leads to a few (ha!) observations/questions/comments on the whole little world of Farmville:

1.  Scale... I know it's a virtual world, but it's a little freaky when the horses are as big as the tractors, the tractors are too big for the barns, the snowmen are as tall as the eaves of my log cabin, and the turkeys are as big as the cows. Not a big deal, to be sure, but worth mentioning.  Let's just say if I were a chicken, I would definitely be afraid of the rabbits...

2.  Let's go back to the cows.  I have regular brown and white milk cows.  I have brown cows (that give chocolte milk - VERY cool).  I have pink cows that give strawberry milk.  I also have GREEN cows from space that give milktonium.  Who buys that stuff?  Maybe the aliens that made my crop circles?  I even have little green calves!  They ARE kinda cute in their martian-ness.  The calves bring up another question - what are they FOR?  All you can do is brush them.  Who brushes a cow baby?  Why?  I'm glad I get PAID for it, but still... ???  And apparently these are eternal calves - they never grow up... it's like a Neverland for them.  I want to know why I can't sell them for veal.  Oh come on, now - you know it's what would REALLY happen.  I'm being overrun by these little varmits - why not let them be useful?  I feel the same way about all the lambs... ever heard of LAMB chops? 

3.  Still on the subject of bovines... what about those bulls?  They can be very entertaining.  You can have one bull in each barn (with 19 cows - lucky guy).  I have 5 barns with a bull in each.  I have several other bulls that have no barn to live in.  They know where they WANT to be, though - as soon as I moved them to the pen in front of the barns - they all went and stood looking in at the cows.  Kinda feel sorry for them.  The scary thing is - I have to brush THEM, too.  I don't know about you, but a brushing a bull is not high on my list of fun things to do... or safe.

4.  Then we have the reindeer.  I have a whole herd of them...half of which are still tangled in Christmas lights.  What do you DO with reindeer after Christmas?  Since I'm not allowed to send them off to make sausage or jerkey - they just stand there waiting to be...can you guess?  Yes..waiting to be brushed. 

5.  Chickens.  Chickens, chickens, chickens.  I have approximately 512,917 chickens... and ONE chicken coop that holds 20.  WHY can't we have more than one coop?  We can have as many cow barns as we want... why not chicken coops?  I also want to know why we don't have buildings for all the other animals... doesn't seem too much to ask.  I've got goats (good gosh do I have goats), sheep, reindeer, horses, baby elephants (who produce circus peanuts??), rabbits, penguins, ducks and all sorts of critters with nowhere to live.  I don't know about YOUR farm, but it's snowy on my farm... is it too much to ask to have horse stables, rabbit hutches, pig sty's, goat & sheep barns...??  I'm not really sure WHAT penguins would need... maybe an igloo? 

6.  And pigs.  Pigs that harvest truffles.  I always thought that was only in England, but obviously I didn't know the whole story.  Why not ham, bacon & pork chops, hmmm?  No piglets yet - I guess because they can't be brushed.  The horses "product" is a little strange, too - you collect horse hair.  Tell me - what do we use horse hair for nowadays?  I'd like to know.... really. 

7. Because I don't have enough to do on my farm, I have cats.  About a billion & three at this point... all needing to be brushed on a regular basis.  Don't get me wrong - I LOVE cats.  But FV has given me TWO "Cat Lady" awards in the last week or two.  Is that supposed to be a compliment?

8.  Moving on past the critters... there are TREES.  Loads and loads of trees!  It's really an amazing environment where banana, date, apricot, passion fruit, fir, walnut, avocado, cherry, all manner of citrus, olive & sugar maples can all live together...in the snow.  I did have to break down and sell about 3/4's of my trees, though.  There wasn't enough room for me and the chickens to walk around.  I was afraid I was going to get permanently lost.

9.  I really have an issue with the storage facilities.  I have 3 large storage barns and five sheds  I am only allowed to keep 28 items total in these buildings.  Tell me - when was the last time YOU saw a storage shed with only 4 things inside?  I think, depending on your packing ability, the storage capacity should only be limited by your creativity.  I'm pretty sure one whole shed is taken up by the hot air balloon I just can't bear to get rid of...and then there is the alien plant monster I will use again later... but the rest of the stuff is pretty small.

10.   At one point, I had all my ducks in a row (ha ha - pun intended) - but they will NOT stay that way.  Shouldn't be surprised - they are migratory creatures after all... just saying. 

So - I know there's someone out there saying "If these things bother you - just quit playing."  But if you know me AT ALL, you know that isn't possible.  Me and my OCD personality could never let all those poor critters (virtual or not) perish from neglect... nor let my crops go unharvested (I've almost got the gold medal for raising squash!  I'll even get a sign to post!) or all the baby critters...and frustrated bulls... go unbrushed and unkempt.  Who would pick all the fruit?  Who would gather the turkey, swan & goose feathers?  Who would make sure the cats don't harrass the turtles?  How could I ever SLEEP AGAIN?  Sigh... my biggest problem now is that I have discovered Zoo World.  More beasties to care for...train...breed...feed.  As my alter ego (The Wicked Witch of the West) would say... what a world, what a world!!!!  :)

Thankful...

Once again I am at odds with myself.  I hear /read all of my friends posting about things they are thankful for... friends, family, good health, sunrise, sunset... you know.  All of those wonderful things (and I'm not being sarcastic... really!)  It makes me feel guilty that I do not do the same... but I just cannot bring myself to be so... what's the word?  Traditional?  Maybe.  Normal?  Probably better.  I am VERY thankful for all of those things, but as most everyone knows - I rarely express my thoughts quite like everyone else. 

I wrote a blog last November about a few of the things I was thankful for (here's a link if you want to read it: http://www.scrapbook.com/blogs/103603/view/131911.html )  I thought maybe another list was in order for this year...

1.  The automatic gate opener... just imagine - I used to have to GET OUT OF THE CAR to open the gate every time I needed to go somewhere.  THEN... I'd have to get out of the car to SHUT it again.  How did I manage to survive all those years with that kind of torment????  Thankfully, now I don't have to brave the rain, heat, wind... sigh... technology is my friend.

2.  Reading glasses.  Ok - let me get something straight right off the bat - I am NOT thankful that I need reading glasses.  I went FORTY YEARS (good gosh how did I get so old??) without needing glasses of any kind... well - I did need sunglasses (preferrably pink ones with rhinestones) but that's different.  All of a sudden, after turning 40 last December, I cannot read my magazines so well at night when I go to bed.  That really stinks, by the way.  I finally broke down and got a pair of reading glasses (the weakest ones, at least) not too long ago.  WOWZER - what a difference it makes.  I have learned, though, not to try to walk around with them on - it just doesn't work so well when the floor looks like it's closer than it is!

3.  Toilet Paper... enough said.

4.  The Beatles.  Gotta love 'em (and if you don't, I don't wanna know!)  John, Paul, George and Ringo are with me every day on my iPod and on my wall.  No... no poster.  But I do have a Beatles calendar this year.   She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah...

5.  Ambien.  It is simply amazing the amount of things I can get done in a day when I sleep more than 1 1/2 hours each night.  Who'd have thought? (I'm a much nicer person, too - just ask my children!)

6.  Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.  Omgosh if you haven't tried one of these, you HAVE to!  I don't know how they work, but with my 3 sons, 4 dogs, & 2 cats, I don't CARE how they work...black magic for all I care!  I used one to clean my glass-top stove yesterday... it had a stain that I had been scrubbing at off and on for 6 months (I had let something with milk in it boil over and it permanently attached itself to the stove... smelled good, too!)  It didn't even take a lot of scrubbing to get it off with the Magic Eraser.  Cleans pencil & pen marks off the walls, too.  Now, granted, I'm not sure WHY I have pencil & pen marks on my walls.  I thought that by the ages of 11, 15 & 16, the boys would have outgrown writing on the walls.  Not that it happens OFTEN or anything... but I guess I was WRONG.  AND I'm pretty sure the teenagers have little to do with it anymore...

7.  Sirius Satelite Radio (in my car).  I'm afraid I'll never be able to live without it again.  I'm addicted.  SOOOOOO many channels to choose from!  Did you know that Martha Stewart Radio has a show with the Pet guy from the MSL magazine (Marc or something like that)??  He's kinda... interesting.  I'm pretty sure he wouldn't approve of the living arrangements for my pets, being that I don't have luxury condo's for them and all, and don't feed them gourmet dog/cat food.  I'm also pretty sure he'd be horrified for all of the critters that are slaughtered by my pets, too (skunks, mice, snakes, armadillos (????), squirrels)...city boy that he is.  hee hee

8.  Air Freshener/Febreeze.  Oh dear Lord, if you don't have one, you have no idea of the stink of some teenage boys.  The smell in Jake's room is enough to knock out a gorilla some days.  I think he goes through a can of Febreeze every couple of weeks...  I don't think the carpet will ever be the same, regardless.  I don't even know HOW many air fresheners he has in there... the plug in ones, the Renuzit thingies, the motion sensor one.  Heaven forbid he go to sleep with door shut... when his SHOES are in there.  Last time he did that, some weird, green, living-funk smell escaped under the door and infected the whole upper floor.  I don't know how he breathes.  I'm sure this will have some sort of long-term effect on his lungs...possibly his brain, too.  Weird thing is - Justin's room doesn't stink at all.  hmmmm.

So there you have it... things I am very grateful for.  I also should add color printers, camera lenses, pink roses, cordless phones, spray starch, Johnny Depp, fluffy kitties, and chickens with Phyllis Diller hair-do's... but I don't have time.  :)

...thoughts on the eleven-year-old boy

You know... I am not surprised by many things that my boys do or say.  I pretty much expect 2-year-olds to have tantrums... and teenagers to look at me like I'm stupid... and curfews to be broken ever so slightly (but Mom - the clock in my truck says it's 10:57!)... but my youngest son, at 11, does surprise me at times.  It must be kinda confusing being 11.  On the verge of adolescence, but still really a little kid.  On the other hand - maybe it would be FUN being in that in-between area... still being able to CHOOSE if you're going to be a big kid or a little kid?  I remember that I still played with Barbie's, loved to play baseball with the boys, had just started babysitting away from home, and started 7th grade when I was 11.    Oh gosh... that says it all, doesn't it?!? 

Anyway... here are some of the things my CURRENT 11-year-old does that surprises me:

1.  Writes on himself.  Markers, pens... legs, feet, hands, arms...really doesn't matter.  I do not understand WHY, even though I've asked him.  Apparently he gets bored at school sometimes.  I ask why he doesn't draw on paper instead... he says I don't understand.  Yesterday he came home with a Pedro mustache drawn on his face.  HE didn't draw it... another boy did. Because he had drawn one on him.  OK then.  Perfectly sensible.  (sigh... can't BELIEVE I didn't get a photo of the Pedro mustache before I made him wash it off - what was I thinking???)

2.  Sits on the couch upside down reading a book (head hanging off the seat of the couch, legs in the air...you get the idea).  I'm pretty sure I used to do this, too, but that doesn't make it any easier to comprehend.  And why did he wait until NOW to start doing it?  He's been reading nearly all his life... are the stories more interesting upside down? 

3.  Drops things on the floor at random times... trash, shoes, books, remote controls... whatever he happens to have in his hands - as soon as something else catches his attention - poof - dropped right there.  When I ask him 'why???' - he actually doesn't realize he's done it.  Sheer lunacy.  He used to have a longer attention span.  I think.  Hmmmm.

4.  Girls.  OK - I know it's normal... but a little disconcerting that all of a sudden he LIKES them.  Does that just happen in 6th grade?  I don't remember the other 2 talking much about girls - but that could be because they had each other to talk to and didn't chat with me about it much.  Oh well... I guess it had to happen. 

5.  OK - this one kinda stresses me.  He is obsessive about deoderant & colognes (puts on deo 3 times/day and about drowns me out with Axe body spray...) but isn't real big on brushing his teeth yet (althought I make sure he DOES brush 2x/day!!!).  I tried to tell him that stinky-breath cancels out cologne & deoderant.  Hopefully one day he'll listen.  It might take a girl telling him he has bad breath, tho.

6.  Hides his dirty socks.  I find balled up socks in the STRANGEST places.  Not just under the bed & in the closet... places he had to FIND to hide the socks... places that it woud have been easier for him to put them in the laundry than there... like behind towels in the linen closet.  Or behind the VCR in the TV cabinet.  Or under pillows on the couch.  I've even found them under his mattress.  The boy has a serious aversion to the laundry room.  Or maybe he's leaving little presents for me... stinky-feet presents?  Maybe wants me to think of him while he's away at school each day?  Wishful thinking, I know.

None of these things make me particulary ANGRY... sometimes it's aggravating, but mostly just...interesting and a lot of times funny.  He is a great kid... still tells me he loves me several times each day.  Makes me laugh all the time (sometimes at the same time he makes me want to strangle him.)  He's got an AWESOME sense of humor - as shown in his choice of Halloween costumes this year.  He wanted to be something "different" but we couldn't think of anything in time.  So he decided to buy a silver skeleton mask and a black, hooded cloak and just be a scary guy.  At the last minute, he ran back upstairs and got the finishing touch to his outfit... a plastic afro.  It was hysterical - Justin & Jake were calling him the "African King."  I thought he looked like one of the aliens out of the movie "Mars Attacks" (I think that's the one, anyway.)   

Sure wishing he could stay this age for longer than he will...

Ode to Sonic Route 44 Fountain Cokes (without any rhyming)

So... over the last year or so I've started drinking Coke.  It started with insomnia... (it's funny how 2 hours of sleep at night affects your mind & body, don't you think?) and I was desperate for caffeine.  Until then, I rarely ever drank sodas/cokes/ soft drinks (whatever you want to call them) - even as a kid.  This has all changed now.  Mind you - I STILL don't drink most things... I abhor Dr. Pepper; Sprite remind me of stomach flu; Pepsi tastes like watered down Coke...you get the picure -  I only drink Coke.  Classic Coke.    Mmmmmmm...

Just for reference - my favorite thing in the whole world is a Route 44 fountain coke from Sonic.  Sigh...what could be better?  The ice... ohhhhh, the ice.  Why can't everyone have ice like that?  We looked into getting an ice maker that would make "Sonic Ice"... it was $600.  Guess who doesn't get a Sonic Ice ice machine???

Unfortunately for me, the longer I drink Coke, the more I notice the differences in the different TYPES of Classic Coke.  It's disturbing, really... why don't all of the bottling options taste the same?  Bottling options?  Does that even make sense?  Do they call the factory where they put the Coke in cans a "Canning Plant"?  I've never heard of Coca Cola Canning - just Coca Cola Bottling.  How strange.  Sorry...getting off-subject.

This is where I started - canned Coke.  It costs the least and is the easiest to recycle.  Didn't take me long (especialy once I discovered Sonic fountain cokes) to realize that there's something ODD  about the taste of Coke in a can.  Don't get me wrong - when there's nothing else available, this will do... but it is a FAR CRY from a Sonic fountain coke, which as I'm sure you know, is the Holy Grail of all drinks.  I can't quite pin it down, but I'm sure it has something to do with being in a metal can - can drinks taste "aluminumy"????

This is coming a bit closer.  Quite a bit, actually.  But STILL not nearly as satisfyingly yummy as Sonic fountain coke.  There's still something missing - it tastes... sharper, maybe?  I finished a fountain Coke a little while ago and felt like I could still use a little more caffeine.  So, I poured a bottle of coke on top of the remaining ice (my fountain coke was from Charlie's Country Store (the Exxon station just South of town) this morning - they have ice that is SOOO close to Sonic ice and a 44 oz drink costs a LOT less, too!)  Let me just say that the difference between my last drink of fountain Coke and my first drink of bottled Coke was shocking - depressingly shocking.  Of course, I'm still going to DRINK it... but sigh... to have my own Coke fountain would be glorious.  I wonder could it be that fountain cokes have more SUGAR?  LOL - ya think?

BTW - just so you know - this is NASTY.  I do not understand how anyone can drink it.  Every now and then I'll accidently end up with Diet Coke and when I taste it, I just want to shave my tongue!  Grody.  And then there's the after taste...(insert me shuddering here)  And it stays with you forever!  I WISH I liked Diet Coke... I really do - I could really dig the low calorie thing.  But it tastes NOTHING like Coke... NOTHING AT ALL.  I refuse - so there!

I only have one thig to say about Coke Zero...

IT'S A LIE!  (no, no - it does have zero calories - they're not lying about THAT.  But it does NOT taste like Coke.  Blech.)


This concludes my dissertation on Classic Coke. Tune in next time to hear my opinion on glassware (well - cupware would be a better description... basically if my Coke doesn't come in a styrfoam cup - FORGET IT- the ice will melt before you can drink half of it... and the bottom falls out of the paper cups... oh, nevermind!)

Oh my gosh this is YUMMY!

I was a busy, busy girl last night! I baked 2 loaves of Pumpkin Bread and 2 loaves of Chocolate Chip Banana Bread... my family LOVES me when I bake!  :)

I tried a new recipe for Banana Bread... it is FANTASTIC!  It almost reminds me of pound cake - so rich and smooth.  I know not everyone gets as excited about banana bread as I do... but it is REALLY worth trying!  It exchanges cream cheese for about half of the butter... I used low fat whipped cream cheese and it worked perfectly (it was all I had, but I think I'll ALWAYS use it.)  I also used "I Can't Believe it's Not Butter - for Baking" and I think I'll be using it for all of my baking from now on - YUM!  SO much better than margarine!  The recipe calls for nuts... but YUCK-O - I do NOT like nuts in my bread...so I put about a cup of chocolate chips instead.  How can you go wrong with chocolate????

Cream Cheese-Banana-Nut Bread

3/4 cup butter, softened
1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened
2 cups sugar
2 large eggs
3 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups mashed bananas (1 1/2 pounds unpeeled bananas, about 4 medium)
1 cup chopped pecans, toasted (or chocolate chips...untoasted!  LOL)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

BEAT butter and cream cheese at medium speed with an electric mixer until creamy.  Gradually add sugar, beating until light and fluffy.  Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating just until blended after each addition.

COMBINE flour and next 3 ingredients; gradually add to butter mixture, beating at low speed just until blended. Stir in bananas, pecans, and vanilla.  Spoon batter into 2 grased and floured 8x4" loaf pans.

BAKE at 350 degrees for 1 hour or until a long wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean and sides pull away from pan, shielding with aluminum foil last 15 minutes to prevent over-browning (this is important!)  Cool bread in pans on wire racks 10 minutes.  Remove from pans, and cool 30 minutes on wire racks before slicing.

MAKES 2 loaves.