Demons & Zombies & Parachuting... Oh my!

Oh, how I love having boys... such interesting creatures.

Last night we had several power outages from the crazy winds that were blowing.  The first one was at about 10pm and lasted apprx. 1.5 hours.  During this time, Jake, Jackson & I sat in the livingroom in the dark and talked.  (apparently after seeing Paranormal Activity 3 last year, they were a little uncomfortable SLEEPING during a power outage... go figure... dark... sleeping...?  whatever.)  So we talked.

First up was Toby, the demon from PA3.  Would he or would he not come after ME?  I haven't seen the movie, but apparently either I would just be killed outright, or ignored... they couldn't come to an agreement about this, although I'm hoping for the latter.  They also discussed which side of the attic Toby might live in - each convinced that he stays above the OTHER'S bedroom.

THEN we walked about the feasibility of jumping off the roof into the wind using a bed sheet as a parachute.  Jake wondered how far he'd fly?  I wondered how hard he'd land.  Jackson just said he should definitely go for it.  Jake DOES live in a different version of reality than most of us...

The topic that got the most discussion was Zombies.  Jake wanted to make sure that we all knew our positions/duties just in case we were attacked by Zombies during the power outage.  Jackson, he said, was to man the upstairs windows.  Jake was going to unlock the shotguns and be ready to blast them through the upstairs bathroom window if they tried breaching the roof.  "I" was the downstairs person.  (????)  I would be armed with a machete (the unsharpened one he has hanging on his wall?...sigh) and if they tried to come in through windows or doors DOWNSTAIRS, I was to chop off their heads.  I told him I would much prefer to be the upstairs person.  "Fine," he said, "I'll come downstairs with the guns."  Why can't I have the guns???  Jackson brought up a concern... what if they were NAZI Zombies?    Apparently that is a whole 'nother situation, and I would be relegated to hiding upstairs while he and Jake took care of them, since they have experience (don't ask.)  Oh, and for some reason, the Nazi Zombies would come up out of the creek out back.  They said it could be an old burial ground.  "Nazi burial ground?  In my back yard?  In Texas?" I asked?  Ummm....  "Well fine," Jake said, "maybe they're INDIAN Zombies - which are even WORSE."  I personally have never heard of Indian Zombies - but I'm sure there are a lot of things I don't know about.

Meantime, Jackson SWEARS he hears an old woman outside screaming.  I tried to tell him it was just the wind, but he said he was pretty sure it was the grandmother from PA3.  I asked if we should go outside to help her and both boys screamed "ARE YOU KIDDING?????????  DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR!!  Gosh, Mom!"

OK then.  I'm going to bed... good luck with Toby, Grandma and the Zombies.  Let me know when I need to hide upstairs.  Love you and goodnight!

Chicken Paws

Ten Questions for the grocery store people who sell THESE:

1.  WHY??

2.  Chicken PAWS?  Is this really an accurate description? 

3.  What about the CLAWS?  Do people really eat things that still have fingernails attached???

4.  WHY???

5.  If you have been reduced to eating chicken feet... do you really care that they've been "PREVIOUSLY FROZEN" ???

6.  Why is the expiration date so far in the future???  I thought chicken was only supposed to stay fresh for 3 days or so?

7.  Couldn't you have arranged them a little nicer in the package?  It just looks so morbid... like a bunch of dismembered fingers...

8.  WHY????????

9.  Why do the short toes look so similar to human thumbs????  (shudder shudder)  The foot on the left kinda in the middle looks an awful lot like a HAND (minus a finger)...(shudder more)
10.  What part DO you eat? (not that I'm going to try it or anything... just wondering)
 
I stood in the grocery store for quite a while looking at these... mesmerized.  I am sure they've been there before - but I've never seen (I'm SURE I'd remember!)  Then a lady came up beside me (buying a DIFFERENT chicken part) and saw me looking at the feet, obviously shocked, and said, "I suppose you could use them for stock...?"  I said I preferred my stock NOT to be made with feet or fingernails.  She agreed, bought her boneless/skinless breasts, and moved on.
 
Of course - now I had to investigate.  If asked, say... Friday? whether or not I believed people ate chicken feet - I would've said,"of course not!"  I was apparently wrong.  This is what I've discovered:
   
*  Chicken feet do make GREAT stock - our grandmothers used them along with the necks and backs and such.  Thankfully you do need to chop off the claws first (ugh... that leaves me out right there!)
*  Most of the recipes (other than stock) are Asian.  I'm still just not understanding what part you EAT.  Isn't it just skin and bones???
*  You can fry, braise, steam, boil (oh gosh - there goes the old gag reflex), & make soup from chicken feet.
*  I am a wimp... I would never be able to cook OR eat the recipe for Dim Sum Chicken Feet.  It starts out:  "The feet are fried first, then marinated, then steamed.  Make sure to WASH the chicken feet first and chop off toenails. Cut the feet into quarters."  Seems like washing would be a no-brainer, but the chopping off of the toenails and cutting feet into quarters is way beyond my raw chicken cooking tolerance.
 
If you're interested in recipes (or just want to be grossed out) follow this link to cooks.com:
 
http://www.cooks.com/rec/search/0,1-0,chicken_feet,ff.html

I'm done... probably won't eat anything today... goodbye.

Fish Heads, Fish Heads (Roly-Poly Fish Heads)

Be careful what you wish for.

Yesterday I was wishing for something to photograph.  Something NEW.  Something DIFFERENT.  Something INTERESTING.  Was NOT expecting to see THIS on the way to dinner... (then again -  would a person EVER expect to see this?):

Bet you can guess what I DIDN'T have for dinner...

What would possess a person to put giant catfish heads on his fenceposts? (this paricular one has HORNS...and possibly teeth...and is staring at me.)  Giant, real, live (well... used to be alive) whiskered catfish heads.  WHY?  WHY would you do that?  What is the message he is trying to send?  Maybe he just finds the t-posts boring?   Was there a gang of air breathing, 2-legged catfish prowling around eating fenceposts and he just lopped off their bodies and left their heads?  Maybe he doesn't like his neighbors?  Maybe it's a warning of some kind?

Another thing I'm struggling with is why haven't the local varmits eaten the fish heads yet?  Surely the racoons and vultures should have picked the bones clean by now?  And shouldn't there be FLIES? 

Apparently the birds don't like them, either.  

I'm also hoping this person doesn't have a tank/pond on his property big enough to GROW these giants.  Surely he found them somewhere ELSE and brought them home to decorate his fence... ???  Maybe 'decorate' is the wrong word here.

You know... catfish aren't the best looking animals to begin with.  But gosh... their decapitated heads are U.G.L.Y.  

One theory I have is that maybe it's a superstition of some kind?  Like... I just heard recently that if you kill a rattlesnake and throw it's body over a barbed wire fence, it will rain.  Now I'm not prepared to TEST that one or anything, but maybe... maybe it's some sort of fishing superstition?  A tribute to the catfish gods?  Pure speculation, but weirder things have happened, you know.

So... I got my interesting photo(s).  Different?  yes.  Weird?  yes.  Bizzare?  yes.  Disturbing?  maybe. 

That's all I have to say...for now.

 

Please help me remember...

Someone help me remember WHY I have dogs.  Really... why?  Why would I ever WANT to have creatures that chew up everything they get get their teeth on, dig up all my flowers, drag road-kill into my yard, harrass the cats, chase skunks, eat cat poop and generally relish in anything horribly stinky & rotten?  Why?  WHY, I ask?!

I woke up this morning a few minutes before my alarm clock went off.  Well, ok... before my alarm clock went off AGAIN (I had pushed the snooze button a couple of times already.)  As I lay there pondering WHY I was awake, I heard a snuffling noise.  As I absorbed the implications of the snuffling noise, I noticed a SMELL.  Ohhhhh noooooooo.

Precursor to this story:  We have 3 heelers.  They sleep in our laundry room at night.  They cannot sleep outside because, "out in the country" (where we live), dogs tend to hunt the neighbor's livestock at night... as in the kill-and-eat kind of hunt.  Kinda shocking to "city folk", I know, but it is what it is.  We had to learn this the hard way with previous dogs (so sorry about the goats and chickens...)  So, like our werewolf friends, they have to be inside during the killing hours between dusk and dawn.  We put up a gate on the door to the laundry room to keep them in.  It's just a baby safety-gate... nothing major.  We've been doing it for several years now - NO problems.  The dogs could easily knock it down if they wanted, but in general, they're good pups and stay in until we let them out each morning.   IN GENERAL.

Ok back to today... Apparently these monsters, who usually behave themselves at night, DID NOT last night.  When I smelled the smell and jumped out of bed to see what it was this morning, ugh... you can't even imagine.  The catfood was gone... the entire box of "Large Breed" dog biscuits was gone and the box totally shredded (and for some reason bits stuck to the floor), 2 ink pens were destroyed (??? how did they get those???), rugs were overturned and wadded up, several of my cookbooks that were on the lower shelf of the hutch were demolished... shredded... half-eaten.  And then... THEN there was the poo.  Oh, dear God, the poo.  There were piles of poo in the laundry room, three or four in the kitchen, two in Kelly's office, and SEVEN OR EIGHT IN THE LIVING ROOM ON MY NEW CARPET!!!!  I about fainted.  My new carpet... my new carpet I had waited EIGHT years for.  Now a poo field.  The field of poo.  A litter box for dogs.  Devastation... depression... WHAT?  How on EARTH could 3 dogs poo that much?  Were they saving it for a week?  I mean, COME ON!  Did they drug me and have a dog party last night, because SURELY this volume of poo couldn't possibly come from THREE dogs?  Unimaginable.  I would have taken photos as proof, but, really, who wants to see poo photos?  I know I don't.   On top of all that - you KNOW If there's poo, there's GOT to be pee.  I don't know WHERE exactly, but I know it's THERE.  Sigh...

Needless to say, my super-fantastic-heroic sons and I cleaned it all up.  I don't know what I would have done if they hadn't been here.  Probably packed up and moved out.  They cleaned up the worst of it then I finished the kitchen and Resolved the carpet, etc.  Now I'm sitting here waiting for the Stanley Steemer guys to come steam-clean my abused carpet.  They are scheduled to be here between 10am and 2pm.  It is 3:12pm.  Please, please, please tell me they are running late... but ARE coming.   

So, yes... someone please tell me WHY I have dogs?  IS there a reason?  DO I love them?  DO those sweet eyes melt my heart?  DO I love puppy kisses on my chin?  OK, fine. Yes.  Yes, I do love them.  Yes, they're irresistable.  Yes, their sweet puppy faces tug at my heart.  But, shhhhhhhhh - don't tell them!  They're still in trouble!!!! 

Priorities...

Just in case you were wondering, I DO have priorities.  I'm not always completely random... scattered... frazzled.  REALLY.   In the mornings my priorities are usually to make sure the boys eat a decent breakfast (is banana pudding a "decent" breakfast??), wear semi-matching clothing (incuding socks that actually go together), and brush their teeth before leaving for school.  Sometimes I even remember to remind them to grab their backpacks on the way out the door.  In the afternoons my priorities including remembering to pick up boy #3 from school and shuttle him to and from whatever sporting activity he is supposed to be at on whichever day (sometimes it takes more than one brain to remember it all, tho). 

Today, however... TODAY's priority was our annual Bluebonnet photo shoot.  I tried to do this last weekend but it was soooooo very sunny... everyone was squinty and washed out (and some mean person on the highway honked at me and made an ugly gesture while I was trying to make the best of the situation!)  Rude person.  

I knew it was supposed to rain today so had been planning on trying again early this morning.  I woke up at 7:30 and it was PERFECT outside - that perfect overcast sky that makes all the colors just GLOW.  I let the boys sleep... for another half hour (hee hee - mean, huh?) and then woke them up, promising them What-a-Burger breakfast taquitos when we were all done.  This, by the way, is the most awesomest bribe ever - really gets their rears in gear ... except Justin who's version of "hurrying up" means taking only 30 minutes to get his clothes on and brush his teeth.  Whatever... we were out the door by 8:30 - woo hoo!

First stop... County Road 403.  Both sides of the road absolutely lined with bluebonnets... nevermind the prickly mesquite tree or the cactus.  I certainly didn't mind them.  The first shot of the day was this.  What you can't see is that I've had Jake tuck a mesquite branch behind his head (it WAS in front of his face - and that will never do.)  It is poking him in the scalp with it's thorns.  I told him to be still and it wouldn't hurt very much and it'll only take a sec for me to snap the pic.  Should have checked the LCD display and retried - he's got a funny look on his face... sigh.  After this I told them to squat down so I could get them more in the flowers.  Justin says, "Mom, there are cactus."  I said, "Just don't SIT on

it."  Justin replies, "If I squat, I'll HAVE to sit on it."  My response?  "Squat PART of the way down to where you're not touching the cactus but it LOOKS like you're sitting."  Priorities, dear, priorities.  What's a little cactus pain when there are photos to be taken???  So he did and I got this one.  Seeeeee - everything was just fine!  :)

Down the road a bit farther I got this one.  Probably a good thing Justin didn't SEE Jackson behind him.  Older brothers are a persnickety bunch, sometimes. 

Then, when Jackson spontaneously put his arms around his brothers'... the whole shot degenerated to this...

God forbid he touch them... LOL

By this time it had started to sprinkle.  No worries - a little rain won't hurt anyone (or a camera when you've got it covered in a zip-loc baggie!)  Funnily enough, the boys didn't even complain about standing in the rain.  I got one of my favorite shots of the day when they were just walking away from me down the side of the road.  I guess they know it takes more than a little sprinkle to change my mind about a photo shoot.  Good boys, they are... have the right priorites, too!  :)

I did end up with several great shots to go with the ones that didn't turn out so perfectly.   And we are happy to report that we encountered no snakes, no scorpions (but there WAS one in my kitchen tonight)... no traffic hazards were created by stopping on the side of the road to take bluebonnet photos.  I'm even pretty sure no one was bitten by fire ants.  Can't promise that though - it's such a common thing around here, it might not have been mentioned...  I didn't have to threaten anyone for not cooperating.  No child was actually harmed by mequite thorns OR cacti... sigh... a VERY good morning!

This Car Stops...

Good morning!  Well, I HOPE its a good morning, anyway.  It's been a CRAZY morning here, but good so far.  :)  (this is my neighbor, CB, by the way - isn't he handsome?)

The first thing I want to say is how grateful I am that I live in a small town and don't have to deal with rush hour traffic in Austin every day.  I would lose my mind (or whatever's left of it!)  I had to take Jackson to a doctor's appointment in Austin yesterday afternoon... we got done at 4:45... oh joy.  Just in time to join the hoard of people sitting on Mopac!!!!  Yay me!  BUT... at least I had something to ponder during those long minutes... (where's Arsenio Hall when you need him, hmmmmmm?)

Hmmmmm.  Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm...

WHEN?
...when it's out of gas?
...when there's a cow in the road?

For WHAT?
...for garage sales?
...for baby ducks?
...for the heck of it?
...for NO reason?
...in the middle of busy intersections?
...at railroad crossings?
...randomly?
...low water crossings?
...for Bunco?
...obviously on Mopac during rush hour


At least we know it DOES stop - it's not a Toyota... hee hee.

 

Obviously...

We went to Universal Studios yesterday.  We figured the boys would have a better time than at Disney (??? what kind of logic were we using?)  I do have to say that the Hulk rollercoaster was AWESOME!  So was the other big one that I can't remember the name of... at the other park... ummm ummm ummm... ROCKIT!  That's the one - VERY intense.  MIB was fun - shot a lot of aliens.  Got to meet the Grinch (although the boys were on another ride and Kelly wouldn't pose with him... grump!  LOL) 

I did get the boys to pose with Wolverine (didn't take much convincing - he's pretty much cool!!)  and we ALMOST got a pic with Captain America... but he had to leave.  sigh...

We got to wear funky nerd 3D glasses on the Spiderman ride.    The special effects were great but it made me motion sick... blech!  :)

Harry Potter wasn't open... it opens next week, I think.  :(  They also had the Dueling Dragons ride shut down - will reopen as part of the HP stuff.

The Jurassic Park River Adventure ride wasn't open either, so Justin & Jackson just stood in the splash zone to get wet while they tested the ride.

Even though the boys are all too old for us to play in the Dr. Seuss area, Jackson did get a Cat-in-the-Hat hat - such a cutie!

All-in-all it was a pretty good day.  Not a bad place... but Universal is NOT Disney.  Not by a long shot. You'd think that would have been obvious.  :)